"In Defense of Violent Video Games"
On April 29, 2013 the article "In Defense of Violent Video Games" was published on USNews.com by Patrick Markey. The article explains whether or not violent video games changes a persons attitude in real world interactions with other people. In his explanation on whether violent video games effect ones behavior on the real world, Patrick did a series of research on ones behavior to examine if violent video games did in fact change ones personality. He used good methods to research a group of peoples reactions on violent and non-violent video games to see what the behavioral differences were after they were played. He explains with great detail on what exactly is changing in their behavior and that the violence in the video games isn't exactly making people commit more crimes. The main audience the author tries to grasp with this article is the parents and older group of people who think negatively on violent video games because he wants to show that these games aren't as bad as people think. The author's goal is to defend violent video games from people's negative comments on how it messes up our lives.
1 comment:
Hi Michael,
True: " On April 29, 2013 the article "In Defense of Violent Video Games" was published on USNews.com by Patrick Markey", but a bit abrupt as the first sentence. Can you ease into it with an intro sentence?
An example: "Violent Video Games have long been a topic of public interest and quite often, of public anger and consternation."
Not the main issue to deal with at the draft stage, but you will want to proofread and edit carefully, particularly in terms of punctuation: "In his explanation on whether violent video games effect ones behavior on the real world, Patrick did a series of research on ones behavior to examine if violent video games did in fact change ones personality" becomes "In his explanation OF whether violent video games AFFECT ONE'S behavior IN the real world, Patrick DOES research on ONE'S behavior to examine WHETHER violent video games DO in fact change ONE'S behavior. (You'll want to be careful with the use of "one" - it can sound very artificial and contrived.) Most sentences contain a number of errors.
Be careful: you don't want to include any opinion
(" He used good methods to research a group of peoples reactions on violent and non-violent video games to see what the behavioral differences were after they were played" -- in a rhetorical analysis, you don't assess the quality of research methods; rather, you explain what kind of methods are used, to address which audience, and why/how the author uses them.)
Thus far you don't have an identifiable thesis; a number of sentences suggest elements that should be in the thesis, but you need a one to two-sentence that very clearly articulates the author's main point AND lists the strategies you'll examine in the body of the paper.
I hope the feedback helps!
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