Professor Bolaski
English 100
10 September 2013
On August 21,2013, Tracy Clark-Flory published an article on Salon.com that caught the eye of many. The article, ‘Dr. Phil: Let’s talk about drunk sex,’ starts off from a tweet Dr. Phil put out asking: “If a girl is drunk, is it OK to have sex with her?” Many were outraged as to the wording in this and how a girl refers to a minor. Now although this sent people into a frenzy, it brings up the point that this discussion does need to happen. Morality is a common topic in this article. Having sex with a girl who does not consent or is too intoxicated can be considered rape. There are plenty of different situations discussed in this article that make you question the right and wrong of it. Although this issue may very from person to person, the issue at hand is that it is not acceptable or morally right to have sex with someone who is mentally incapacitated and does not give consent.
1 comment:
Erica,
Not a huge concern at the drafting stage, but work on diction here and there; sometimes it's a bit awkward. For instance: "starts off from a tweet Dr. Phil put out asking . . " becomes "The article is a reaction to a tweet Dr. Phil posted, asking: . . ."
You write, "Many were outraged as to the wording in this and how a girl refers to a minor." I THINK you mean that people were outraged that Dr. Phil used the term "girl" rather than "woman". Am I right?
This is true: "Now although this sent people into a frenzy, it brings up the point that this discussion does need to happen."
When you write, " Morality is a common topic in this article" you'll want to elaborate - this is a bit of an oversimplification. Are you trying to get at the writer's appeal to the reader's ethical sense?
Remember that you want to write in third person - throughout -- no 2nd person ("There are plenty of different situations discussed in this article that make you question the right and wrong of it" . . . ) You don't address the reader directly ("you"). An example: "There are plenty of different situations discussed . . . that might make readers/audience/people question the morality/ethical ramifications of it" (also an example of how/where you can make your diction more precise and sophisticated.
That said, what you need to focus on for the draft is composing a thesis that gets at Clark-Flory's point and strategies. You don't clarify the author's argument/main point, and you don't name the strategies she uses to make that point. The prompt, voice lecture, and handout on what to include in the introduction give very specific instructions and examples of how to compose the thesis. You will want to refer to them for help here.
Lastly, remember that you can't insert opinion (not in this paper, at least - your opportunity is coming soon!) However, if you clarify that your final sentence comes from Clark-Flory, you're on your way to a great thesis.
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