In her article "The Science of Objectification", Salon.com writer Tracy Clark-Flory argues through the use of allusion, imagery, an appeal to ethos, and an unbiased tone, that the objectification resulting from viewing a naked body is more than just sexual in nature.
**I re-wrote this about 6 times and still don't like it. I had a death in the family this week, so my brain isn't functioning at 100%. I'm sure my 12 hour work/school days don't help...
3 comments:
Maybe rewording it a little, content is great:
Tracy Clark-Flory a writer in Salon.com argues in her article " The Science of Objectification" that the viewing of a naked body is more than just sexual in nature. She conveys her message through the use of allusion,imagery.........etc.
I really hope I helped you, and my condolences for your lost one.
I like the diction you used Roxy.
Roxy,
I don't think it's clear who's being objectified; on first glance, I'd assume you mean the "naked body" is objectified, but you say the objectification comes as a result of "viewing" the naked body . . . so the readers themselves would be objectified, then. I guess I'm not sure how viewers would be objectified (rather than objectifying). Does this make sense?
"More than just sexual in nature" works very well.
I think the version Jessica posted in terms of the ordering of ideas, and it might work; it's very similar to what you have but a bit more fluid. I'd move the descriptor before her name, though.
"Salon writer Tracy Clark-Flory . . ."
I don't think the thesis is problematic, actually; it could simply be slightly more polished.
I
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