I am looking for honest help with my introduction paragraph can you guys please take a look at what I have and let me know if it makes sense or not!!!!! All critiques are welcomed!!!
Author, David Frum, in his article, on How We Need to Learn to Say No to the Elderly, published in The Daily Beast implies that if we don't push back they'll steal our benefits and bankrupt the country. Frum warns that being afraid to insult or discriminate against the elderly since they have the tendency to vote in their favor, will soon degrade the future of our youth unless we change something and soon. He adopts imagery, anecdotes, statistics, and a provocative tone in order to appeal to a varied audience.
1 comment:
Janine,
Make sure you put the title in quotes and use "the elderly" in place of "they'll" here for clarity's sake. I like "warns" here; it's an effective verb choice that suggests the piece is a cautionary tale. "Adopts", however, doesn't quite work. This is developing nicely, and I can tell you're working hard on it.
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