Natasha Lennard informs on the idea of a national student loan debt strike currently stewing amongst activists, and astutely encourages the radical protest.
The verb "informs" takes an object (as in, there has to be a someone/something being informed, so a noun has to follow: "informs readers", for instance. "On" doesn't work with "informs". "Idea of" is a bit vague, especially when combined with "currently stewing". Are you trying to suggest an impending debt strike? I think you can find a simpler way to say this.
**Among, not "amongst"
"Encourages" is a good choice here. "Radical" might be too subjective (unless Lennard uses it or a similar descriptor).
You need to list the strategies you'll cover in the paper. This is coming along nicely; it just needs to be completed and lightly edited.
2 comments:
Dane,
The verb "informs" takes an object (as in, there has to be a someone/something being informed, so a noun has to follow: "informs readers", for instance. "On" doesn't work with "informs". "Idea of" is a bit vague, especially when combined with "currently stewing". Are you trying to suggest an impending debt strike? I think you can find a simpler way to say this.
**Among, not "amongst"
"Encourages" is a good choice here. "Radical" might be too subjective (unless Lennard uses it or a similar descriptor).
You need to list the strategies you'll cover in the paper. This is coming along nicely; it just needs to be completed and lightly edited.
I like what you have so far but I think you should make it a little longer and add the strategies you are going to talk about.
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