SENTENCE EDITING BLOG (5) DUE 11/03

SENTENCES TO EDIT

REDUNDANCY/REPETITION

1.  By her arguing that cars and houses are smart she means the technology they carry make them be capable of so much. For example, “We don’t need to read maps; we get our geography by an officious sounding person who lives in a little window in our dashboard.” This quote demonstrates her humorous tone by implying that there is someone living in our car that knows how to get us around.

2.  This piece truly appears to be a well thought out persuasive spin of the film persuading the reader to believe that the movie borders on being pornographic with the choice of words and quotes used in this write-up.

3.  The author inserts that quote in his article in order to see what Henry are really feelings for New York, and the answer is that enjoying his life in this city.

4.  The author used that quote to prove us that it was Henrys choice to come play in New York.

PASSIVE VOICE

1.  In a recent blog entry of hers for the Huffington Post a good argument is raised on whether we are or are not setting up our children for failure by raising them in a world over saturated with technology.

2.  The counter-argument, or concession, is stated in order to provide the possibility that infidelity can ultimately ruin a relationship as well.

3.  After reading some of the comments that the readership made about “Targeting..”, it can be assumed that the range in age and have an even wider range of moral standpoints.

 WORDINESS

1.  Or are they the pebble that starts a landslide of us being dependent on technology that will one day land us in a hover chair and having machines cater to our every need, like in “Pixar’s “WALL-E”?

2.  The article written by Andrew O’Hehir is about the film, “Breaking Dawn Part 1”, the fourth film of the “Twilight Saga”.

3.  Infidelity in this article is held as not just an affair, but as the point at which couples begin to put the broken pieces together in their relationship and make it something whole.

4.  This unconventional choice are coming from the belief that parents want their children not to be stressed out from an undue burden but to do whatever they are really interested in.