Blog Post #5

Matthew Tampon

11/18/2013

Professor Bolaski

English 100

Blog #5

The opinion piece I chose is “The Reason Every Kid Should Talk Back to Their Parents” found on Huffington Post. I found this article interesting because I was always taught to never talk back to my elders. In the article, the author, Kelly M. Flanagan, gives his opinion on why he thinks it is good when a kid says “No” to his/her parents. Flanagan, a psychologist, believes that “the inability to say "No" -- the inability to set personal boundaries -- is one of the most common, insidious causes of human suffering.”

            Throughout the article, the author is torn between two different points of view on the subject as both a parent and psychologist. He first elaborates on the subject from a parent’s perspective. It all starts when Flanagan’s son says “No” to him when asked to hand over his toy.  When Flanagan hears this, he thinks to himself “The parent in me feels like a failure because I'm not being respected. The parent in me gets angry because I feel out of control and I'm supposed to be "in charge." And the human in me feels just plain sad, because the morning just got a whole lot harder.”

            The audience who can relate to this claim can really be any parent who reads this article. As a parent, you can feel mad, frustrated, hurt, or even disrespected when your kid says “No” to you. Most parents’ ideal outcome of a situation is asking their kid to do something and their kid immediately doing it without hesitation. Growing up, a majority of people are taught to obey their parents and especially not back talk to them. Therefore, it isn’t surprising that when you first read this article you are right away opposing the very thought that is ok for a child to say “No” to their parents.

            Flanagan states that although he might not like the answer “No” as a parent, he says “the psychologist in me is secretly thrilled he said, "No."” He goes in further with the subject presenting a very well thought out argument to one of society’s oldest ideas. Flanagan believes that” Our families are where we first learn how to say "No" in a safe, supportive environment. If we don't learn to do so there, we won't learn to do so anywhere. If our children can't say "No" to us, they won't say it to anyone.” He gives different scenarios of when his children are older and his son gets offered pills to take or his daughter gets offered the backseat of a car. He wants them to “have had a lot of practice at saying "No."” This is because when children grow up; there will be a lot more at stake than just a single little toy and Flanagan wants his children to know that “their voice matters.”