This discussion will require you to look very closely at your writing at the sentence level. You’ll consider, for this exercise, word choice. As such, you’ll be editing a section of your ad analysis, focusing especially on word choice. What do you do?
First, read the chapter “Ain’t So, Is Not”, which is about the use of diction in academic writing.
Next, choose at least two passages that stand out to you and give you ideas/examples that you think will prove helpful to you as you revise for word choice. You should quote these examples and briefly discuss them.
Finally, cut and paste two paragraphs from the ad analysis that you submitted to me. Next, edit carefully for word choice (you should choose two initial paragraphs that you feel could use some improvement in diction. Correct any grammar errors and syntax errors; correct errors in diction if any are noted. Look carefully at your choices: where you could improve? Are you repeating the same word often? Writing in passive rather than active voice? Using blasé vocabulary that isn’t interesting, colorful, or sharp? Using words out of context? Relying on far too many “its”? Do you need to use some synonyms for words that are used correctly but not in a particularly competent way? etc.
Having completed the editing, discuss briefly what you identified by focusing only on word choice. I will do a sample of this post for you shortly.
1 comment:
Throughout the world, (all around the world) it is a known fact that people retain advertising slogans. That is the way advertising works; advertisers seek to create slogans that will stick in consumers’ brains. The world-renown (well-known) sports brand Nike, is no different. The company began in the 1970’s when two sports fanatics and athletes, Bill Bowerman and Phil Knight made the observation; “if you have a body, you are an athlete.” The company strives to carry on Bowerman’s legacy of creating products that put Nike athletes far against the grain. (ahead of everyone else) The Nike Advertising campaign is made up of many portions and pieces of material (parts) that have made their way to popularity. The famous slogan, “Just Do It”, is tied to victory, the pursuit of excellence and a person’s identity in athleticism with no regrets. The slogan has many parts; from commercials, to print ads, it holds its own as the number one sports retail company.
The most popular and unique commercial Ad for the Nike brand is the Nike Chosen commercial that aired (was shown on TV) in May of 2011. The ad features (has) members of the Nike board team such as; Paul Rodriguez, Julian Wilson, Danny Kass, and the rest of the team. The members of the team snowboard, surf, and skate throughout the video which takes place all throughout the night (all night long). The advertisement has individuals in it that portray the attitude (have the attitude) that no matter the time of day (what time it is during the day), the conditions, or the elements that come against them, the sport is all that matters. The three different sports are shown in a dramatic light at the beginning, as if each sport displays (shows) a challenge that needs to be overcome (done), before morning. The athletes prove to be (are) more than willing to conquer (face) the challenges that are placed before them. The “Just Do It” mentality is shown in the commercial to have the effect on consumers that whether it be for competition or simply recreation (having fun), going out and participating in sports (playing sports) is better than doing nothing at all.
Basically I just found words that in my first draft I tried to make fancy and I made them how I would speak in a normal day. A lot of the words however, I actually do say and use in my vocabulary on a normal basis, so I kept those how they were. I think I focused a lot of trying to make my words sound better and more profound then just writing as myself. That's something I can definetely work on, on future papers.
Post a Comment