Opinion Blog Post

Article: Dream Act
http://ic.galegroup.com.prox.miracosta.edu/ic/ovic/topic1/actionWin?query=&prodId=OVIC&windowstate=normal&contentModules=&display-query=&mode=view&limiter=AC+y&showDisambiguation=true&displayGroups=&userGroupName=&action=e&catId=GALE%7CHPZVWQ261035391&scanId=
Summary: Illegal Immigrants are finding themselfs in a lose, lose situation when it comes to higher education and employment.
Historical Precedent: Immigration has always been a controversial issue in the U.S. When the U.S. needs new laborers, the U.S. encourages immigration, but, xenophobia, or fear of foreigners, laws such as the 1924 Immigration Act are created to limit the number of immigrants coming into the country.
Facts: About 11.2 million undocumented immigrants live in the U.S. The PEW Hispanic Center says about 1.7 million immigrants might be eligible to participate in a program where immigrants can qualify for certian benefits, and that about 85% of those considered eligible are of Hispanic descent.
News Worthiness: In June 2012, President Obama used his executive authority to provide relief with an executive order which declared that the U.S. government would no longer deport illegal immigrants who arrived in the U.S. before turned sixteen, and a few other requirements.
Forecasting: Although supporters are fighting for this Dream Act, young illegal immigrants face an uncertain future.

Opinion Post

Article title: Dont Buy an Ipad Mini (YET)!http://.businessinsider.com/dont-buy-an-ipad-mini-2012-10

Summary: The author is persuading his readers to not buy an Ipad Mini yet, because a new one might be out next year.

News: The writer informs the audience that it will be useless buying an Ipad Mini. Every year there is an updated version of some type of apple device. He mentions that Apple industry brought out the mini Ipad just to scare of its other rivals.

Atention! When Apple releases its new Ipad Mini the one that just came out will probably just be 230$. Therefore, dont buy it.

Strategies:
Fact- The Ipad Mini has the same physical features as the Ipad 2-its the same just smaller display.
Statistics- You can buy the Ipad Mini 16GB for 329$ but knowing apple a new one might come out next year and the one that just cam out might go down to 229$.

Opinion Blog Post

Article: Still ignoring the history-and risk- of AB 32; North County Times
Link: http://www.nctimes.com/news/opinion/editorial/still-ignoring-the-history-and-risk-of-ab/article  52301397-c4d0-5d80-a735-cbe6c9656960.html
 http://www.nctimes.com/news/opinion/editorial/still-ignoring-the-history-and-risk-of-ab/article_52e01397-c4d0-5d80-a735-cbe6c9656960.html

Summary of Author's point: Author feels that the state is paying heavy taxes for a type of  cleaner energy that the rest of the world has not adopted.

News worthiness: Last week, there was a cap-and-trade auction by the CA Air Resources Board to force major industries to reduce the amount of harmful gases into the environment.  "Last week, the California Air Resources Board had its first cap-and-trade auction of pollution credits, meant to use market forces to gradually push major industries to reduce the emission of gases which contribute to global warming"

The other side: The author briefly mentions the other side by stating that with the passing of the AB 32 Law in 2006, Gov. Brown feels that this is not a burden and that this law will help create jobs for Californians. (Since this is brief, the author does not want the reader to focus on this part of the article)

types of strategies:
1) Historical Precedent??: I believe this is historical precedent when the author talks about the fact that Gov. Schwarzenegger only signed this into law if there was a provision to allow a future Gov. to essentially cancel out this law if the economy was bad (which it is at the moment).

2) Facts: The author states that world is headed towards an era of using cheap fossil fuels, but the author does not give a source for their information. "Thanks to dramatic improvements in oil-extraction techniques, the U.S. is on track to be the world leader in oil production by 2020. With these techniques spreading to other nations, the planet appears headed for decades of cheap fossil fuels."

3) Forecasting: The author knows that this clean energy plan has failed and that the rest of the world did/will not follow a type of  AB 32. Knowing this the author poses a question that asks what will happen not this this plan has failed? "The rest of the world didn’t copy AB 32 and the Golden State. So what will our shift to cleaner-but-much-costlier energy portend? Just what Schwarzenegger and Chu feared: an economy with heavy unique costs not shared by rivals."
 

Opinion Blog Post

For this one, I want you to find an opinion piece you think is well written, engaging, and persuasive. Topic doesn't matter. Link the piece you use to the blog post. Briefly summarize the author's position, then break it down, paragraph by paragraph, identifying the kind of evidence/support the writer uses. You may find some that doesn't fit neatly into one of the categories we discussed in class. If so, just describe it. Most persuasive rhetorical moves will "fit" into "facts", "judgments", "statistics", "anecdotes", etc. I also want you to highlight any objections the writer acknowledges as well as any concessions the writer makes to the "other side". Are these implied or explicit? Simply not there? I will TRY to put up a sample analysis pretty soon for you to use as a guide. Look at the handout "Forms of Evidence" in BB's "Content" for help.

Sentence Editing Blog (a little late but still completed)

REDUNDANCY/REPETITION

1. By her arguing that cars and houses are smart she means the technology they carry make them be capable of so much. For example, “We don’t need to read maps; we get our geography by an officious sounding person who lives in a little window in our dashboard.” 

2. This piece truly appears to be a well thought out persuasive spin of the film, compelling the reader to believe that the movie borders on being pornographic with the choice of words and quotes used in this write-up.

3. The author inserts this quote in his article to understand what Henry is really feeling about New York, which is that he’s enjoying his life in this city.

4. The author proves to us that it was Henrys choice to come play in New York.

PASSIVE VOICE

1. A good argument is raised in a recent blog entry of hers for the Huffington Post whether we are or are not setting up our children for failure by raising them in a world over saturated with technology. 

2. in order to provide the possibility that infidelity can ultimately ruin a relationship, the author uses a counter-argument, or concession.

3. We can assume the range in age and have an even wider understanding of moral standpoints after reading some of the comments that the readership made about “Targeting..” 

 WORDINESS

1. Or are they the pebbles that start a landslide of us being dependent on technology like in Pixar’s “WALL-E”?

2. The article written by Andrew O’Hehir is about the fourth film of the “Twilight Saga,” “Breaking Dawn Part 1”.

3. Infidelity is not just an affair, but is the point where couples begin mend their relationship and make it something whole.

4. This unconventional choice is coming from the belief that parents want their children to do what they’re interested in and not feel overburdened or stressed out.

Sentence Editing

REDUNDANCY/REPETITION

1.  By her arguing that cars and houses are smart she means the technology they carry make them be capable of so much. For example, “We don’t need to read maps; we get our geography by an officious sounding person who lives in a little window in our dashboard.” This quote demonstrates her humorous tone by implying that there is someone living in our car that knows how to get us around.

The author demonstrates humor when she states, "We don't need to read maps; we get our geography by an officious sounding person who lives in a little window in our dashboard." 

2.  This piece truly appears to be a well thought out persuasive spin of the film persuading the reader to believe that the movie borders on being pornographic with the choice of words and quotes used in this write-up.

The choice of quotes and wording appear to persuade the reader to believe the movie seems to border somewhat pornographic.

3.  The author inserts that quote in his article in order to see what Henry are really feelings for New York, and the answer is that enjoying his life in this city.

In the article, the author quotes that Henry is enjoying his life in New York.

4.  The author used that quote to prove us that it was Henrys choice to come play in New York.

The quote proved it was Henry's choice to play in New York.

PASSIVE VOICE

1.  In a recent blog entry of hers for the Huffington Post a good argument is raised on whether we are or are not setting up our children for failure by raising them in a world over saturated with technology.

A good argument whether we are or not setting our children for failure by raising them in a world over-saturated with technology.

2.  The counter-argument, or concession, is stated in order to provide the possibility that infidelity can ultimately ruin a relationship as well.

Infidelity can ultimately ruin a relationship.

3.  After reading some of the comments that the readership made about “Targeting..”, it can be assumed that the range in age and have an even wider range of moral standpoints.

After reading the comments made about "Targeting", it can be assumed that the age range and moral standpoints.

 WORDINESS

1.  Or are they the pebble that starts a landslide of us being dependent on technology that will one day land us in a hover chair and having machines cater to our every need, like in “Pixar’s “WALL-E”?

Will we become too dependent on technology like those in "Pixar's 'Wall-E'"?

2.  The article written by Andrew O’Hehir is about the film, “Breaking Dawn Part 1”, the fourth film of the “Twilight Saga”.

Andrew O'Hehir wrote an article on the 4th film of the "Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn Part 1"

3.  Infidelity in this article is held as not just an affair, but as the point at which couples begin to put the broken pieces together in their relationship and make it something whole.

Infidelity, an affair, but the article begins at the point when the couples try to refurnish their relationship.

4.  This unconventional choice are coming from the belief that parents want their children not to be stressed out from an undue burden but to do whatever they are really interested in.

Parents want their children to do whatever they're interested in, not stressed out from an undue burden.

Sentence editing

Repetition

1) The author expresses a humorous tone stating " We don't need to read maps; we get our geography by an officious sounding person who lives in a little window in our dashboard."

2) The author uses diction to convince the readers the movie is pornographic. 

3) The author uses this quote to express Henry's feelings about living in NY.

4) The author used that quote to prove it was Henry's choice to be in NY.

Passive

1) In the Huffington post the author shares an argument stating whether we are or not leading our children to failure with technology.

2) A counter-argument was posted about infidelity ruining relationships.

3) By observing some comments about 'Targetting' its a fact the the range in age proves a spectrum of moral  standpoints. 

Wordiness

1) Is technology taking our responsibilities away?

2) Andrew O'Hehir wrote an article about "Breaking dawn" the fourth film of "Twilight Saga" 

3) In the article infidelity is the point where couples begin to fix there relationship.

4) Parents want children to have the choice to do what they are interested. 

Blog # 5 setnece editing

Redundancy/Repetition
-The technology coming form our cars and houses almost gives them human like intelligent features.
-The choice of words and quotes may leave readers thinking the film is somewhat pornographic.
-The author mentioned that Henry is enjoying his New York life through quotes.
-In the article Henry talked about how he wanted to play in New York
Passive Voice
-The Huffington post argues about whether or not children are going to be smart from technology.
-A good counter argument from the article read "infidelity can ruin relationships."
-The moral standpoints coming from readers after viewing "Targeting Slutty Students" not only came from youth, but from older generations as well.
Wordiness
-What really is the cause of humans being so dependent on techonology?
-Andrew O' Hehir reviewed "Breaking Dawn part 1", the 4th film of the "Twilight Saga."
-Infidelity is the start of couples putting together broken pieces of their relationship.
-Parents are starting to see the inconvenience of their kids not doing what they truly enjoy.

-Brent Hyden

Fun Sentence Editing!

REDUNDANCY / REPETITION

1. The author demonstrates her humorous tone by stating "We don't need to read maps; we get our geography by an officious sounding person who lives in a little window in our dashboard."
2. The authors diction and quotations can likely persuade the reader to believing the film is almost pornographic rated.
3. The quote emphasized how much Henry is enjoying life in New York City.
4. *Insert quote* crystalizes Henry's choice to play in the city.

PASSIVE VOICE

1. Her recent blog in the Huffington Post raises a valid question as to whether or not children are failing with too much technology.
2. The concession states the possibility that infidelity can destroy a relationship.
3. Upon viewing some of the comments, the reader can assume that age range produces a broader spectrum of moral standpoints.

WORDINESS

1. Are they the pebble inducing landslide, causing technology dependent humans like in the Pixar film Wall-E?
2. Andrew O' Hehir wrote about "Breaking Dawn part 1", the 4th film of the "Twilight Saga."
3. Infidelity is not just an affair, but rather the start of fixing the broken parts to make the relationship whole again.
4. This unconventional choice stems from parent's wanting their children to pursue their dreams vice stress from an undue burden.

Sentence Editing Blog #5

REDUNDANCY/REPETITION
1. Brilliant advancement in technology facilitates our living. The writer uses humorous tone by means of simile. She said, “We don’t need to read maps; we get our geography by an officious sounding person who lives in a little window in our dashboard.”
2. The reviewer persuades a reader to believe in the movie as almost pornographic because of words and quotes in the review.
3. The author uses quote in order to explain how Henry enjoys his life in New York.
4. The quote implies Henry’s voluntary coming to New York.

PASSIVE VOICE
1. The writer raises an argument on the Huffington Post, which excessive technology would lead our children to failure regardless of our intend.
2. People posed a counter-argument that an infidelity might ultimately ruin a relationship as well.
3. Someone comments to the targeted readership in accordance with their age and moral standpoints.

WORDINESS
1. Is the technology going to make it true that pebble starts a landslide of us like as a hover chair in Pixar’s “WALL-E”?
2. Andrew O’Hehir wrote about the “Breaking Dawn Part 1”, the fourth film of the “Twilight Saga.”
3. The writer described an infidelity not only as an affair but also for couples being made up.
4. Parents want their children to do whatever they are interested.

Sentence Editing Blog #5

Redundancy/Repetition 1. The authors statement "We don't need to read maps; we get our geography by an officious sounding person who lives in a little window in our dashboard", uses a humorous tone to exemplify how technology is capable of a lot. 2. This piece persuades the reader that the movie borders on being pornographic. 3. The quote shows that Henry is enjoying his life in New York City. 4. The quote proves that it was Henry's choice to come to New York. Passive Voice 1. She raised a good argument in a recent blog entry of her's for the Huffington Post on whether we are or are not setting up our children for failure by raising them in a world over saturated with technology. 2. The counter-argument, or concession, provides the possibility that infidelity can ultimately ruin a relationship as well. 3. The comments on "Targeting" show the diverse range of ages and moral standpoints of the readers. Wordiness 1. Or are they a catalyst to technological dependancy, like the character's in Pixar's "Wall-E"? 2. The article written by Andrew O'Hehir is about the fourth film in the Twilight Saga, "Breaking Dan Part 1". 3. In this article paints infidelity as the point at which couples begin to mend their relationship, rather than just an affair. 4. Parents make these unconventional choices because they do not want their children to be stressed out by undue burden instead of pursuing their own interests.

Sentence Editing

Redundancy/Repetition:

1. The Author demonstrates her humorous tone by stating, "We don't need to read maps; we get our geography by an officious sounding person who lives in a little window in our dashboard".
2. (Author) persuades the reader that the movie is boarder line pornographic with (his/her) diction and clever quotes.
3. (Add in Author's last name) uses this quote to show that Henry enjoys his life in New York City.  
4. The author used that quote to prove us that it was Henry's choice to come play in New York. (I would take this sentence out since it directly relates to the previous sentence. However here would be my rendition if the author chose to keep it) Henry chose to go play in New York.

Passive Voice: 

1.  (The Author's name) raises a concerning point that we could be setting up our children for failure by raising them in a technology dependent world. 
2. Infidelity can ultimately ruin a couple's relationship.
3. Upon viewing some of the comments about "Targeting", the reader can assume that the age range produces and broader spectrum of moral standpoints.

Wordiness:

1. Is this the landslide effect that will deplete us to living like the technology dependent humans in "Pixar's WALL-E"?
2. The article "Breaking Dawn Part 1"--the fourth film of the Twilight franchise-- written by Andrew O'Hehir suggests (perhaps add in part of the authors position of the movie or something to that effect).
3. Infidelity is not just an affair, but the critical point when couples begin to fix their broken relationship.
4. Infidelity is not just an affair, but the critical point when couples begin to fix their broken relationship.