Sentence Editing Blog (a little late but still completed)

REDUNDANCY/REPETITION

1. By her arguing that cars and houses are smart she means the technology they carry make them be capable of so much. For example, “We don’t need to read maps; we get our geography by an officious sounding person who lives in a little window in our dashboard.” 

2. This piece truly appears to be a well thought out persuasive spin of the film, compelling the reader to believe that the movie borders on being pornographic with the choice of words and quotes used in this write-up.

3. The author inserts this quote in his article to understand what Henry is really feeling about New York, which is that he’s enjoying his life in this city.

4. The author proves to us that it was Henrys choice to come play in New York.

PASSIVE VOICE

1. A good argument is raised in a recent blog entry of hers for the Huffington Post whether we are or are not setting up our children for failure by raising them in a world over saturated with technology. 

2. in order to provide the possibility that infidelity can ultimately ruin a relationship, the author uses a counter-argument, or concession.

3. We can assume the range in age and have an even wider understanding of moral standpoints after reading some of the comments that the readership made about “Targeting..” 

 WORDINESS

1. Or are they the pebbles that start a landslide of us being dependent on technology like in Pixar’s “WALL-E”?

2. The article written by Andrew O’Hehir is about the fourth film of the “Twilight Saga,” “Breaking Dawn Part 1”.

3. Infidelity is not just an affair, but is the point where couples begin mend their relationship and make it something whole.

4. This unconventional choice is coming from the belief that parents want their children to do what they’re interested in and not feel overburdened or stressed out.