Friday, November 2, 2012

Sentence Editing Blog #5

Redundancy:
1.With humorous quotes, the writer shows how technology gives us smart cars and houses capable of a lot.
2. The word choices in the article sways the reader to assume the film is pornographic.
3. From the quote, we know that Henry is enjoying his life in New York.
4. Henry chooses to come play in New York.
Passive Voice:
1. The writer argues, are we setting up our childern to fail in a world filled with technology, in a recent blog in the "Huffington Post".
2. The counter-argument is that infidelity can ruin a relationship as well.
3. Comments made on "Targeting" show that age has a wider range of moral standpoints.
Wordiness:
1. Our dependency on technology may one day have us relying on machines doing everything for us, like in "Pixars' WALL-E".
2. O'Hehirs' article is on the film, "Breaking Dawn Part1".
3. Infidelity is not just an affair, but the point in which couples begin to put the pieces together making the relationship whole.
4.Parents want their childern to do what really interest them and not be stressed.


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