FEEDBACK FOR ANNA, DISCUSSION POST 3

Although the Maytag repairman campaign, (the lonely repairman) better known as the lonely repairman, may seem culturally trivial, it is in fact crucial in terms of today’s concerns over the dependability of a product., which is always a concern. [GOOD CHOICE; THIS DEFINITELY NEEDS TO BE CUT]The ideals associated with “Ol’ Lonely” (the name given to the Maytag repairman) give the consumer confidence in purchasing Maytag merchandise; ideals such as making dependable products and treating the consumers with respect. [WORKS MINUS THE SEMI-COLON; USE A COMMA] The more recent ads also hold a nostalgic feeling toward the company and its reputation for being dependable. The Lonely repairman campaign, then and now, allow the consumer to feel confident in their purchases as well as gives them the sense of belonging to an establishment that will not take advantage of them., which has always been very important. [YEP, THIS GOES WITHOUT SAYING, SO GOOD CUT]

The most prominent element in this ad is its use of a comical dramatization of what Maytag repairmen do when they are not repairing Maytag products- meaningless activities to keep themselves busy. This strategy allows the consumer to connect to the company by having them understand that Maytag is on their side and not looking to take advantage of them. [THIS STILL READS AWKWARDLY] The ad shows that the meaning from the ad is important The underlying meaning of the ad is illustrated as being important and also states that the ad and should be taken seriously, while the means of getting this message across to the consumer should be something fun and enjoyable  to watch the viewer [BEGINNING OF THIS SENTENCE IS BETTER, BUT ON THE WHOLE IT’S VAGUE].The least prominent element in this ad is its use of auditory imagery, [SEMI-COLON] while there is sound, it does not do much by way of helping make the point of the ad. If a person were to step away from the television set they would miss the premise of the ad. Although the use of auditory imagery is the least prominent element in the ad its use does not take away from the effectiveness the visual imagery brings. [BETTER HERE, BUT UNLESS YOU CAN SAY IT ACTUALLY DOES SOMETHING, CONSIDER CUTTING]


After doing this assignment I have realized that a lot of what I write can be omitted and I can also add sentences that explain what I am trying to say better. I also need to work on not having sentence fragments-completing my thoughts more thoroughly.

***IF I ADDED THE WORDS/PHRASES, THEY ARE IN YELLOW FONT. IF I CUT A WORD/PHRASE, IT’S HIGHLIGHTED IN GREEN. I ALWAYS COMMENT AFTER THE SENTENCE, NEVER BEFORE; THESE COMMENTS ARE IN BOLDED ORANGE. I HIGHLIGHT WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT IN WHITE. I KNOW IT TAKES A CLOSE EYE TO READ THE EDITS CORRECTLY, BUT IT’S A VERY USEFUL EXERCISE. NO FRAGMENTS HERE, BUT YOU DO NEED TO WORK ON SEMI-COLONS VERSUS COMMAS.