Sentence Editing

Redundancy/Repetition:

1. The Author demonstrates her humorous tone by stating, "We don't need to read maps; we get our geography by an officious sounding person who lives in a little window in our dashboard".
2. (Author) persuades the reader that the movie is boarder line pornographic with (his/her) diction and clever quotes.
3. (Add in Author's last name) uses this quote to show that Henry enjoys his life in New York City.  
4. The author used that quote to prove us that it was Henry's choice to come play in New York. (I would take this sentence out since it directly relates to the previous sentence. However here would be my rendition if the author chose to keep it) Henry chose to go play in New York.

Passive Voice: 

1.  (The Author's name) raises a concerning point that we could be setting up our children for failure by raising them in a technology dependent world. 
2. Infidelity can ultimately ruin a couple's relationship.
3. Upon viewing some of the comments about "Targeting", the reader can assume that the age range produces and broader spectrum of moral standpoints.

Wordiness:

1. Is this the landslide effect that will deplete us to living like the technology dependent humans in "Pixar's WALL-E"?
2. The article "Breaking Dawn Part 1"--the fourth film of the Twilight franchise-- written by Andrew O'Hehir suggests (perhaps add in part of the authors position of the movie or something to that effect).
3. Infidelity is not just an affair, but the critical point when couples begin to fix their broken relationship.
4. Infidelity is not just an affair, but the critical point when couples begin to fix their broken relationship.