Shannon Flynn
Professor Bolaski
English 100
10 September 2013
Neil Swidey's article "Walter Willett's Food Fight" published July 28, 2013 on bostonglobe.com uses persuasion and logic on why we as Americans are constantly receiving faulty and conflicting health and nutrition claims. One of his main points in the article is "If scientists from Harvard and the CDC can't decide on something as basic as whether being overweight will kill you sooner or later, who are we supposed to believe?" The author is backing the significant health and nutrition research from Walter Willet stating "Not only is he the chair of Harvard's nutrition department, he is also the single most cited nutritionist in the world." An underlying tone of this piece is the emphasis the author places on Willet's vegan/vegetarian lifestyle and the possible persuasion it may place on the reader to analyze their own diet.
1 comment:
Hi Shannon,
This statement is pretty clear: "Neil Swidey's article "Walter Willett's Food Fight" published July 28, 2013 on bostonglobe.com uses persuasion and logic on why we as Americans are constantly receiving faulty and conflicting health and nutrition claims." However, it's an abrupt opening sentence; you need to provide a bit of intro before launching into a thesis/thesis-like statement.
A bit of clarity needed: you say he uses "persuasion on" "why . . . " This doesn't work grammatically or in terms of content clarity. One can't persuade someone "on" something but OF something, and when you use "why" next to "persuade", rather than something concrete, there's no clarity. You need something concrete - of what, exactly, does the author try to persuade his readers? Is he trying to explain WHY Americans are constantly receiving such criticism? Or is he trying to suggest that the reason for such criticism is true, or faulty? etc.
This statement is very clear: "he author is backing the significant health and nutrition research from Walter Willet stating "Not only is he the chair of Harvard's nutrition department, he is also the single most cited nutritionist in the world." Well done.
An emphasis is not a tone, however - you could say the author uses a warm, or calculating, or confident tone to emphasize Willet's lifestyle.
Ultimately, place your thesis at the end of the paragraph ,and make sure you combine statement of the author's main point with the list of strategies about which you'll be writing.
Hope this helps!
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