Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Blog Post #2


Matthew Tampon

English 100

9/11/2013

 

Rhetorical Analysis


 

The author, Peter Gray, uses ethical appeal, repetition, symbolism, and numerous statistics to convey the flaws and misguidance of America’s education system in his article “School Is A Prison”. This article from salon.com, was addressed to parents and scholars alike, in regards to America’s future generation. The author discusses how new scientific research on how children learn naturally, suggests that “children learn most deeply and fully, and with greatest enthusiasm, in conditions that are almost opposite to those of school.” Instead of school systems actually helping students with learning, they are restricting their freedom and creativity. By putting children in these conditions, many of them can suffer from psychological damage. The inadequate methods of the education system are causing children to lose creativity, critical thought process, and the ability to learn on their own.

1 comment:

Amy Bolaski said...

Matthew,

You want to open up with identifying details, not the thesis.

That said, the thesis -- "The author, Peter Gray, uses ethical appeal, repetition, symbolism, and numerous statistics to convey the flaws and misguidance of America’s education system in his article “School Is A Prison”' works well. Very clear here.

Watch tense: "was addressed" should be "is addressed" -- everything should be in present tense.

I don't know where/if you go further with audience, but here, you write: "as addressed to parents and scholars alike, in regards to America’s future generation." This is an INTRO into a discussion about audience, but one that needs to be developed fully elsewhere.

I'll add to this in a bit.